Since having a sit down and thinking a bit more in depth about my hopes and expectations when it comes to labour and giving birth naturally a couple of concerns and fears have popped up that I think (I'm hoping) may be therapeutic to write about in a bit more depth and get it out of my head, off of my chest...and maybe even ask some of you lovely mummy's out there to ease my mind?
Not getting to the hospital on time
Given I don't live out in the sticks this might be an unrealistic, reasonably far fetched fear of mine - however as a first timer and newbie to pregnancy, labour, birth and everything in between I'm a little worried I won't exactly know when to leave my house to get to the hospital to give birth and recognise the signs on time. Plus I've now seen that video of that very brave lady giving birth in her car and quite Wonder Womanly pulling a baby from her person and I don't want to be that person!
Tearing, having an episiotomy and...extensive damage
Shamefully the above are my main reasons for wanting as little intervention, drugs and as a natural a labour and birth as possible. I am aware having an episiotomy is quite common and tearing happens more so than we at first realise and the pain at the time isn't something I'm too worried about, it's the after pain and living with the damage left behind from this sort of intervention.
The thought of someone going in and having to physically turn her around turns my stomach, plus I would hate to think this could lead to....
An emergency c section
I've heard many women felt they were a 'failure' because of having a c section - this is definitely not something I would feel, however I would hate to first of all have my partner worry about me consistently and of course face giving up my independence (though temporarily) during the healing process. Of course if anything were to go wrong in my labour I certainly would not protest having a surgery but it's of course not something you want if it's not 'in the plan'
There aren't many things that would scare a parent more than hearing their baby is in distress. Currently whenever I go for a routine check up with my midwife or have a scan booked I get this horrible, horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and a niggling thought in the back of my mind saying, 'what if something is wrong?' I will happily go through ALL of the above to avoid having a baby in distress!
Hopefully in a few months time all of these fears will be nothing but distant memories...fingers crossed not distant experiences! Be sure to leave your thoughts, comments and birth experiences in the comments below, I always find reading other peoples experiences and perspectives to be really, genuinely helpful in situations like this so be sure to leave links to your posts below too. Otherwise you can catch me on the usual channels....freaking out... you know like Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin.
Until next time,